


Well, This Is Anticlimactic

by The_Impavid



Series: Shenanigans [9]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Awesome Michelle Jones, BAMF Michelle Jones, Karen (Spider-Man: Homecoming) Is a Little Shit, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Original Character(s), Parent Tony Stark, Protective Michelle Jones, Protective Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 03:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Impavid/pseuds/The_Impavid
Summary: Michelle Jones knows exactly who is under Spider-Man mask's and now Peter's going to find that out.
Relationships: Karen (Spider-Man: Homecoming) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Miles Morales, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Shenanigans [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1455406
Comments: 4
Kudos: 320





	Well, This Is Anticlimactic

You know, today was actually going great for Michelle. Ned’s mum made them homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast without them asking, she got her history grade back at a 97%, and everybody showed up for Decathlon practice. She was even able to hang out with Ned after school at his place and have a very delicious dinner Mrs Leeds made. Sucks for Peter having an ‘internship’ and missing out on fresh, enticing pork barbeque that made her see heaven for a bit. Now, she is on her way back home with some leftovers for Miles when this asshole comes up and tries to rob her.

  
It’s such a peaceful night to be out walking. MJ has always found a fascination at looking at the city life and the mesmerising sight of street lights & neon signs. She is walking in front of a psychic shop she remembers going to with Miles and being told that she should be wary of green doors. Odd, but not as interesting as Miles being told that spiders are his best friend and worst enemy. For a brief period of time, MJ was suspicious that Miles was somehow Spider-Man. But no, her brother never went to Germany.

  
She’s passing by an alleyway when she hears a noise to her left, but before she can turn to look, a strong hand locks onto her wrist and pulls her in. With the unexpected pull, MJ yelps in pain and stumbles on her feet. This motherfucker…

  
“Give me your cash, little lady.” An older, white man breathes into her face, reeking of odour. A sharp blade presses against her chest and brings her into the situation.

  
Just as she is about to knee him in his balls, a small _thwip_ is heard and Queens’ hero swings into the man. 

  
“AHH!” The man flies back about 15 feet.

  
Spider-Man stands tall and protective in front of her. With the short distance between them, MJ knows for sure now. “Are you okay, miss?” PETER asks her. Though he tries to disguise his voice horribly.

  
“Yeah, I’m good.” She huffs out and then the sound of groaning comes from the robber.

  
Spider-Man turns to the attempted robber man, “C’mon dude! It’s Tuesday! Don’t you know that nothing bad is supposed to happen on a Tuesday?”

  
“Fuck off, Spidey…” the man groans as he rises to his feet.

  
“I’m going to have to say no…” Spider-Man narrows his eyes, knees bent, hips turned, left hand ready to block, and right hand ready to attack. The man twirls his knife in his hand and lunges towards Spider-Man. Spidey easily dodges, but he’s interrupted before he can defend MJ.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” MJ snaps, fearlessly coming up behind the man, and jams a taser right into the sight of his neck.

  
“Asdfjshdfl!” The man yelps out and, wow, Peter didn’t know people could actually speak keyboard smash.

  
Spidey scratches his head as watches the emasculated man crumbles into nothing more than a heap of meat on the ground. “Huh…”

  
MJ whips around to him and he backs away, putting his hands in front of him, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I was only trying to help!”

  
“Obviously!” She lowers the taser down and away from him. “But I already told you, Pete, that I can watch out for myself!” 

  
His arms limp down as he catches what she says. “Pete?”

  
MJ smacks her forehead before ripping it off and glaring at Spidey. “Yes, Pete. I know you’re Spider-Man!”

  
“Ack!” He yelps as he panics at that moment.

  
_“Should I activate Instant Kill Mode on her?”_ Karen asks inside his mask.

  
“What? Karen, no!” 

  
“Karen?” MJ asks.

  
_“She can reveal your identity, Peter. Mr Stark was very clear on making sure your identity is only revealed to those you choose to know.”_

  
“Karen, killing her is not an option!” Peter screams.

  
“You can’t kill me, I’m a bad bitch,” MJ states, staring down Peter’s soul. In another other situation, Peter would have been laughing to the floor.

  
“Sorry, MJ, I’m talking to Karen right now!”

  
“Who is Karen?”

  
_“Very well, Peter. Do you wish to add her to your list of Spider-Man Accomplices?”_

  
“Yeah, please do that. I don’t want to kill MJ. She’ll kick my ass.”

  
“At least you know that,” MJ says, looking pretty smug with herself.

  
_“I’ve added Michelle Jones to the list. You currently have five people who know your identity.”_

  
“Thank you, Karen”

  
_“Of course, Peter.”_

  
“WHO IS KAREN?” MJ yells.

  
“Oh! She’s my suit-lady. She’s an AI that Mr Stark gave me to help be Spider-Man,” Peter explains. “Karen, can you say hi?”

  
_“I’m sorry, Peter. I am only able to speak to you directly when you’re wearing your mask.”_

  
Peter sighs, “Thanks anyway, Karen.”

  
MJ shrugs it off. “You better have not been following me home.”

  
Peter waves his hands around as he talks, “Actually, no. See, I was going down to pick up some food from Scotty’s because Aunt May loves that place and I have some extra money. I thought it would be a nice surprise for her since she’s the best. I just placed the meal order when I heard you scream-”

  
“- I did not scream,” MJ butts in. Eyes clearly threatening him to keep his mouth shut.

  
“Right… I heard you make some _noise_,” she nods her head approvingly, “and heard the man threatening you. So, I swung over and I think you know the rest of it.”

  
MJ stares at him accusingly, “Yeah, you dealt with him yourself. I know how to defend myself.” She points the taser back at him and teasingly shocks it again.

  
“Ah!” Peter steps back. MJ smirks and shoves the taser back in her bag for good. “In all honesty, I didn’t know it was you,” he shrugs and stares at her bag. “Where did you get that?”

  
“From Miles’ uncle. I told you, he comes around often and makes sure that both of us, mainly Miles, is alright. He got me it so I'll have extra protection. I just think Aaron is a bit paranoid sometimes.”

  
A lightbulb goes in Peter’s head and he tilts his head at her. “Hey, is Miles’ uncle Aaron Davis? About ye high?” He raises his own hand far above his own. “Puts groceries in the trunk when he has free space in the backseat and likes Sub Haven?”

  
MJ raises an eyebrow, “How do you know him?”

  
Peter chuckles awkwardly and MJ can perfectly picture him blushing right about now.

  
“Uh… I may have interrogated him and left him stuck to his car for two hours?”

  
MJ frowns, “That was you?”

  
“Uh, yeah? He was gun trading with the Vulture’s henchmen and I thought he could be a lead to tracking them.”

  
“Wait, he was involved with the Vulture?”

  
“Sort of?” Peter rethinks it. “He wanted something 'low-key' but the henchmen kept trying to upsell him something more dangerous. Like really dangerous.”

  
“Well, at least he knows better now.” MJ checks her bag, “I've got to get going home, I have some of Ned’s mum’s food for Miles.”

  
“Right, do you want me to take you or…?”

  
“Nah, I'm fine on my own, but can you do something for me?”

  
“… what?”

  
MJ pulls her phone out and waggles it in front of him. “Miles would kill me if I didn't get a picture with his favourite superhero.”

  
Peter laughs but shoots a web and hangs upside down for her. “I'm his favourite?”

  
“Yeah, he really looks up to you.” Peter blushes.

  
“Awesome!” MJ snaps a selfie then turns to him. “Thanks, Spidey. I'll see you around!”

  
“See ya!” _Thwip!_ And next second Spidey is down the street.

  
MJ smiles to herself and looks at the first picture she's ever taken with Pete. She's glad that for the first time in her life she has actual good friends. 

Down the street, Karen asks, _“Peter, is Michelle Jones like the Liz you told me about?”_

  
“What?” He thinks it over. “I guess they do have a lot in common, but everyone's different you know?”

  
_“I understand. I was wondering if you view Michelle as romantically as you did with Liz?”_

  
Peter nearly misses shooting his next web. “WHAT?”

  
_“I'm sorry, did I read the situation wrong?”_

  
“Yes!” Peter shouts and settles down on a roof across from Scotty’s. “MJ’s cool, but not like Liz. MJ is just a friend. She's like Ned but scarier and smarter than both of us combined.”

  
_“I'm not sure I agree. Mr Stark told me you have a 186 IQ level.”_

  
Peter whips his head to the side, “He told you that?”

  
_“He told all his creations. He sounds very proud whenever he speaks of you.”_ Peter feels the tips of his ears burning.

  
“Does he talk about me a lot?”

  
_“I'm not allowed to say. Though it is enough that we have agreed he is a proud father to you.”_

  
“FATHER?” Peter shakes his head, “Oh you guys too? Oh man.”

  
_“Are you okay, Stark Junior?”_ He just groans and flops back. What the fuck, Karen?


End file.
